Forever A Cupid

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Mommy drinks because you cry.

Posted by Allison on December 1, 2011

I should get one of the shirts that says “mommy drinks because you cry”…mind you I also REALLY wanted to get the one that said “hung like a 5 year old” when Mr. Magoo was a baby so probably my judgement on appropriate t-shirt sayings is a little off.  Probably why my 20 year wears a shirt that says “jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you’re an idiot” that I bought him.

Yesterday I saw a status on facebook the other day that made me laugh out loud.  Scary Mommy‘s status update was “If you have never once wanted to yell “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!” to your child, I can’t relate to you in the least.”  I HOWLED….but I should have probably stopped at the status updates and NOT read the comments underneath.  There were some that just pissed me off.  Apparently a few of the posters don’t quite understand what the word “wanted” meant in that sentence.  She didn’t say you did. No need to say you’ve felt that way but you “really love litte so and so”.  She was talking to those of us who think “I would like to stick a fork in my eye to ease the pain of dealing with you right now” those of us who feel no need to preface a statement with ‘you know i love my kids but….’ Um yeah, cause for sure as soon as you said, “i almost shook the little bugger” I immediately had child services on speed dial.  Thanks for thinking that I’m not intelligent enough to know that a.  you said ALMOST and b. you don’t now hate your child and are abusing them.  I don’t use that sentence because if I say something that makes you question whether or not I love my child, dude, we’re not friends.  Cheese on bread.   Feel the need to say…’you know i love my kids’ or ‘you know i love my husband’, um no….I had no idea, clearly since we started talking I’ve had a traumatic brain injury that leaves me at a non functional level, thanks for noticing.  That bugs me almost as much as “Can I tell you honestly?”…piss off…you’re lying and if you’re not  then you’ve just told me that every other time you’re talking to me you may be lying through your teeth.

Song in my head today…

“When somebody throws sticks and stones, all they can break are your bones.” Sing it Shania!  I’ve been singing this ALL day.  Stuck in my head since 5 am.  Yes 5 am.  Try not to laugh out loud if you’re in a public place, people will look at you funny but  5 am is my new wake up and work out time.

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