Forever A Cupid

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Fool that I am….

Posted by Allison on November 18, 2011

Demi Moore stole my press release.  She also stole my body, but that’s another post.

“It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life.

I’m reading and I know what she is really saying “Ring ring hooker, I’m out.”  Yeah bitch, me too.

Hopefully she has some gold in her life.  (Outsiders reference cause I’m about to talk about a Buckwolder).  I have that in spades.  *ok i totally looked up that saying cause sometimes sayings with the word “spade” are totally racists and have just become part of the vernacular over the years and now every time I say spades i think, fuck is that racist?*

My gold this week came in a little brunette package straight from the mean streets of East Hill.  The other day when I was whining about my ex’s new girlfriend and how apparently this woman is sooo much better than I ever was and how she totally understands him and how he can talk to her and he’s SO much happier….blah fuckin’ blah blah.   And how he feels free to tell me of this fact and then gets offended when I’m not “happy for him” cause I’m the one that pulled the plug etc etc.  So it sounds a lot like jealousy and 90% of people would think I was jealous.  Most people would then start telling me how I’m better and he doesn’t know what he had….mer mer mer.   But it’s not about that, I’m not jealous,  I know that I’m not.  I sure as fuck don’t want him back,  dude wasn’t faithful for ONE DAY in 9 years, trust me I don’t want him back.   What I’d like is tangible proof that I didn’t completely waste almost 10 years of my life with a complete douche.  Anyway, I couldn’t quite explain WHY it was bothering me she very bluntly and wisely said.  “That’s EGO, Cupid. You’d just like to think you made a bigger impression in his life than you did, you didn’t, you’re replaceable in under 60 days, get over it, now welcome to your year of crazy”  If you don’t have someone (or several someones) in your life who loves you enough to say shit like that, then your life is not as rich as it could be do whatever you can to go out and find some.  Thanks Morris.

*For those of you thinking this would be a sentimental post about my Crazy Joy I gave birth to 20 years ago today, it’s not.  For you here’s a cute picture of my first born.

One Response to “Fool that I am….”

  1. Ally,

    Love your posts as always. I can relate, I still sometimes wonder ‘did I make an impact or change his life somehow’. I don’t voice that to many, because I’m afraid it would be viewed as jealousy or me wanting what is gone…and sure as the sky is blue I DO NOT WANT him back. I believe the humanity in us causes those thoughts and because of the type of person we view ourselves to be. How can you spend 7 years (in my case) 9 in yours and NOT make a difference?

    Love the song..

    P.S. I tried to find you on FB to no avail…This could totally be user error 😉

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