Forever A Cupid

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Men,

Posted by Allison on October 19, 2010

can’t live with ’em can’t chop them into little pieces and bury them in the backyard.  Men are a pain in the ass.  Most of them annoy the hell out of me.  I’ve been married twice and I have 3 brothers so I’m a bit of an authority.  Don’t get me wrong, men definitely serve a purpose. There are ‘boy jobs’ that I think it would be a shame if we didn’t have men around to take care of….just the other day there was a spider in the house.  Who else could take care of it but a man.   Whenever circumstances demand that I kill a bug, I engage in such a long drawn out dance of shrieks and shoe throwing that by the time the vermin is killed I’ve missed half of Grey’s Anatomy.  So yes, I suppose men have their place.

October 19th is the birthday of one special man.  I can’t say he’s my favorite man because I have other brothers, sons and a husband.  But I can say that he is in my top 2 (then all these others can think they are the other one, vague AND covers my ass).  My brother is without a doubt one of the sweetest people I know.  He’s all big and bear-like and growing up 99% of my friends were scared of him.  There are stories of him chasing my friends out of the house when he got tired of the giggling.  Sometimes without shoes, and sometimes there was snow involved.  Once when I came home after indulging in too much rum & cream soda slurpee (shut up it was the 80’s)  he opened the door, took one look at me and left me out there to puke.   He is a legend for a party he threw in 1983 that is still a topic of conversation with most Murray grads of the time. There were cops (including the constable who lived next door), football player bouncers, a beer bottle thrown at the head of the ONE kid whose parents actually called to make sure there would be supervision and my very startled mother who came home to find close to 100 people in her house .  When I went to high school the year after he graduated, I was cool just because I was his little sister.  Being Little Cupes got me into more parties than I ever should have set foot in. It didn’t however get me any dates.  It took boys from other schools or exchange students who didn’t have a hot clue who my brother was to ask me out.  This is the story I tell myself when I think of how no one asked me out, I blame Craig.  The one boy who really did want to ask me out was suddenly ‘not interested’ after my dear older brother dropped into the school.   Ah the memories.

At least the jackass would “pull” for me.  Oh for all you outside of Saskatchewan, that means my older brother would buy alcoholic beverages for me when I was underage.  Horrible I know (right now my mother is mad at her 45 year old son for something he did 27 years ago) but the drinking age was 19 for god’s sake.  The only time he refused to buy me alcohol was when I asked for lemon gin.  He mumbled something about ‘panty remover’ and said he was too busy.

Funny, I look back on it now and realize he was kind of a geek.  I mean on one hand he played D&D all night and had a comic book collection but on the other hand he played football & basketball at WMCI where every single student knew his name.   He really was a guy who did what he wanted to do.  He didn’t let others dictate who he was suppose to be.   As a young girl I loved him with all my being.  I couldn’t imagine being anywhere where he wasn’t.  He was my superman, my batman, my Groo the Wanderer all rolled into one. (obscure comic reference to make my brother ROAR with laughter)

He was who hung the stars & moon in the night and who lit up the sky in the day.  I followed him around like a puppy because he was the best thing about my life growing up.  I’m so thankful that my parents had their little accident in 1965.  Not just because if it wasn’t for him, there would be no me, but because without him I wouldn’t be a quarter of the person I am today.  The fact is that who I am at my core can be quite mean and twisted, cynical and sarcastic but this is tempered by compassion and a love of the underdog and THAT part is because of Craig.  The truest measure of this man is in the men he has raised.  And he has raised two of the best.

Today he is 45.  Never in my wildest dreams would be these old people with grown up children.  I never thought we would wear bifocals or have ‘bad knees’.  But here we are.  But today for a couple minutes I’m going to close my eyes and I’ll be sitting in the basement at 1609  watching  The Jeffersons on that psychedelic 1970’s red carpet, each of us with a huge green beanbag pillow my mother had made out of old clothes.  I’ll be laughing with my big brother until we just about pee our pants.  There’s no remote and no need for one because we only had 3 channels.  The smell of popcorn that my mom popped on the stove top is mixed in with rice krispie squares Craig would make for us all gooey and good.  And for those few moments, he’ll have hair again and I’ll be with him even though he is an ocean away.

Happy Birthday old man.

9 Responses to “Men,”

  1. becks said

    awww! Such a nice sister!! That was a really sweet post!

  2. Craig said

    Nothing like waking up laughing, crying and laughing again, thanks Sis. I guess I have no choice but to take a little credit now that you’ve told the world, keeping you away from the lemon gin didn’t work now did it. LOVE YOU LOTS, thanks for starting and making my day special.

    • Allison said

      You’re welcome. Oh and you owe me two hours of my life back from looking up Groo the Wanderer stuff on the internet!

  3. Kimberli said

    That was wonderful!! What a great gift for your brother to know what a difference he’s made in your life. I don’t even know him and I’m wishing him a Happy Birthday!

  4. Dee said

    Gee I wonder who the friend was who got thrown out in the snow:) Thanks for the memories…your basement, the carpet, the chair…and listening to the Monks with Craig singing to me “Nice legs shame about her Face” Your brother is a bugger, and one of my favorite people in the world….

  5. Susan said

    Allison you are a gifted writer – and a wonderful sister. Beautiful thoughts about a wondeful man. Happy birthday Craig!!!

  6. Carlyle said

    It’s days like this when I remeber how much I love my family. Funny to think you two would make my life so special – especially since I was going to vote you both off the island. Happy birthday little brother. Nice blog little sister.

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