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my soapbox is straining from the weight of it all….

Posted by Allison on February 3, 2010

Caveat-If you come to my blog to read about knitting and funny antics with my kids todays blog post is going to disappoint. The following is a rant.  I know that some of you may then feel the need to make a comment either agreeing with me or not agreeing with me, feel free either way.  I chose to put my feelings out there and I get that some of you wont agree.  And if you feel the need to unfollow me because of it…well tough titties cause by tomorrow I’ll be all happiness and light again and you’ll miss some good shit.

So admittedly I’m not the nicest person on the planet.  I get that. I’m pretty bitchy on ‘certain’ days of the month (but if you ask my husband he’ll just shake his head and deny cause it’s about that time).  I’m usually the person who makes an inappropriate joke or finds humor in what all will agree is a humorless situation.  In fact the likelihood of me saying “too soon” after a joke is 100%.  I’ve made dating jokes at funerals….yeah,  I’m that bad. So it takes a LOT to shock me, in fact I don’t remember the last time I was genuinely shocked by someone who was trying to make a joke.  I’ll tell you why, I think funny trumps EVERYTHING.  I mean I laugh at things that are funny.  I don’t oppose racists jokes I oppose racists jokes that are not funny.  I don’t give a shit if you make a ‘gay’ joke, but it better be funny and not just you being uncomfortable with homosexuality or not “believing” in it.  SIDE NOTE it’s impossible to “not believe” in homosexuality, it exists.  You can “not believe” in unicorns, or leprechauns but unless you have a head injury there is no way to “not believe” in it.  I hate it when I hear people say “oh i don’t believe in gays”….what?  are they like fairy dust (okay bad analogy).  It’s like saying I don’t believe in black people.  You can hate, dislike, not appreciate, you can love, like or appreciate but you can’t “NOT BELIEVE”. Idiot.

So what got me on this soapbox was someone making a comment that was a) suppose to be funny and b) fucking homophobic and c) apparently conspiratory


a) You can make any fucking joke you want, if it’s funny I’ll laugh. If it’s not my respect meter goes down a few notches.  I’m not so politically correct and I do understand that the reason most things are funny because there is a morsel of perceived truth in them.

b) hiding behind some religious belief to defend hatred is the lowest form of human sluggery (i just made up that word) out there.  Believe in what you believe in but at least have the balls to admit that what you believe in is exclusionary and hatefilled towards people you claim it’s there for….so fine say ‘oh i hate the playa and the game’ that’s fine but don’t throw that ‘oh i love the person just not his/her actions’ bullshit at me.

c) don’t assume i’ll agree with you because i happen to  be heterosexual it’s like assuming someone is racist because they are the same colour as you.

So what did I do in this delightful situation you may be asking yourself?  I did what I always do, I said something witty and alarming to make sure that not only did the person know they had stepped in it, they walked away from the situation feeling like an idiot. Job done.  Like I said, it’s that time of the month.

14 Responses to “my soapbox is straining from the weight of it all….”

  1. lynda said

    well hell! you even made me laugh when you were ranting. I think somethings get easier as you get older… These days I will just look a person in the eye and tell them they are being obtuse…(my husband maintains this is my way of saying someone is a stupid as stupid gets).

    Good for you!

    • Allison said

      I love the word OBTUSE! it’s one of the words that while you use it you can actually watch the person’s face to see them trying to look like they understand what the word means. I’m going to have to start throwing that around some more….

  2. Meems said

    It also amuses me when people say they don’t believe in something that clearly exists; or better yet, when they ask me if I believe in it.

    This post reminds me of Don Cheadle’s comment on the movie Crash, where he said people would laugh at un-PC comments and then would wonder if it was okay to do so (IIRC, he thought it was…so do I).

  3. Kristin said

    I’d say it was much deserved lady. Way to be! Oh and I apologize for my non Glee watching behavior. I plan on remedying the situation.

    • Allison said

      Well hurry up! It’s back in March…and by the way because of you I was on the anthropologie site for 20 minutes, I think I got drool on my keyboard…

  4. ~dawn said

    well said! A good rant is always worth having.
    And I agree with you about assinine people who think they are so funny when in fact they are just too stupid to know they are.

    IF you can’t stand the heat… stay out of MY kitchen!

  5. Rhonda Thiessen said

    Ranting Allison, Knitting Allison, Funny as hell Allison, it don’t matter what you say or what you do, I’m a devotee! Keeping it real, love you for it! (yeah I said it, this love between women isn’t weird…don’t get any ideas! Ha!)

  6. Well, move on over and make room for me up there on your soap box. Admittedly, I’m not as humourly evolved as you (what?), but I completely agree with your summation. A person’s beliefs are their own…just grow the cajones big enough to support them.
    Oh, and people need to stop being idiots. Seriously.
    Good rant. =)

  7. Cristina said

    Can I use this on my Embrace this Bitch: Rant of the month?!?!?! THIS IS KILLER!

    I am totally the one that jokes at a funeral. Humor trumps ALL. Always!

    It’s the only way I can live with the crap that’s flung my way on the daily!

    Seriously….let me know.



  8. Margaret said

    I think you are right on when it comes to this and there is nothing wrong with having a rant every now and then!

  9. Lourie said

    My husband is wise also, and says nothing about my evil twin. A good rant is good to get off our chest and read as well, we feel better and the readers usually say, “That is sooo true!” Good post.

  10. Isn’t it interesting that the same people that don’t “believe” in Gays can spend one day a week praying to their imaginary friend. Hell at least we can prove we exist (although the videos are a bit much to watch). Keep up the good fight sis. You can tell the non-believers that I believe in them – and I hope that makes them feel real special.

  11. Meech said

    I am a huge fan of finding the “funny”. There is something precious about being able to get your point across and being funny at the same time. It’s the best way to let someone know how you feel without really burning any bridges.

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