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I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends – John Lennon

Posted by Allison on December 31, 2009

So I have been thinking about my friend. You see I have a friend that I’ve known for a little while…since kindergarten in 1974. We have seen each other on a fairly regular basis for our entire lives. Either in person or online the last few years we have always been in contact. She is someone who knows more about me than almost anyone on the planet and tomorrow she is turning 40. Big day, broo ha ha, whatever, how is this about me?!? Oh yeah, I’ve been thinking about why we have remained close for 35 years and I’ve come up with a few things that has made our friendship last all these years.

1. She’s not easily offended.

This doesn’t seem like a big thing but I have a tendency to say thing that are horrible. Not just horribly inappropriate but just down right horrible. Many people state a caveat before introducing me to their friends and families. My son, nieces and nephews frequently ‘warn’ people before family functions. I’m sure at some point, actually various points, I’ve offended her but in all these years we’ve never fought, stopped talking or gone long periods being ‘distant’. There has never been any drama in our relationship.

“I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don’t believe I deserved my friends.”
– Walt Whitman

2. It doesn’t matter.

Our lives are very different and always have been. I married young and had a kid. She didn’t. She has a head full of grey hair, I have 2. She has a waist the size of Scarlett O’hara and I have too many spanx to count. The differences have never pulled us apart. I’m sure at some point I’ve been self absorbed about my kids or something (knitting, yoga etc) that means nothing to her and we remain friends. She has horrific taste in music but I see it as a fault of her upbringing and too many years being forced to listen to the Irish Rovers.

“The best mirror is an old friend.”
– George Herbert

3. We have different friends.

Although we have friends in common, we also have friends that the other person doesn’t know (or in some cases care to know). Our friends in common are dear to both of us but we have separate relationships with them. We’ve never had a jealous moment in all those years except when ONE of us was invited to a certain person’s house for pool parties and the other wasn’t and a true friend would have stayed away in protest instead of going to said pool party….but I digress.

“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.”
– Clifton Fadiman

4. We laugh.

We laugh at the same things and get each others sense of humor. While other people may find some of the things we laugh at grossly inappropriate we get why the other person is laughing way before the other people in the room. We spent a majority of our high school reunion looking at each other from across the golf course and giggling because we were thinking the exact same thing.

“Friends are the Bacon Bits in the Salad Bowl of Life.”
– unknown

5. Shakespeare

We’ve been each other date to more festivals, plays and musicals than I can count. She’s the first person I think of when I see the new Shakespeare plays that are running. I can call her and say “what’s that song from…” and she’ll say “In Your Eyes, you idiot” before I finish the sentence.

“I count myselt in nothing else so happy
As in a soul rememb’ring my good friends.”
– William Shakespeare

6. The past.

We’ve laughed until we almost pee our pants. We’ve seen each other drunk and held each others hair back. We’ve seen each other with broken hearts and in love with the wrong person. We’ve gone through mall hair, leg warmers and white pumps with socks. We’ve misjudged each other and underestimated the power and strength of our friendship. We’ve been through 13 first days of school, 3 husbands, 6 sibling relationships, countless shakespeare plays and parents that are a blog post all on their own.

“You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.”
-Laurence J. Peter

7. The future.

I can see us living it up in a retirement home, with her making sure people understand “Oh she’s not senile she’s always been a b***h”…..oh sure one of us is going to die first but I’m hoping it’s in about 50 years and hopefully it’ll be her cause otherwise how can I be sure they play Bay City Rollers at her funeral?

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
-Robert Frost

She’s my gold. Stay gold, old friend, stay gold.

103 Responses to “I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends – John Lennon”

  1. Meems said

    That was quite possibly your best blog post yet.

    • Allison said

      Thanks Michelle, the truth I very seldom tell my friends what they mean to me and if I said “i love you” in other than a drunken stupor she would spew coffee out her nose but I have no other relationship as long and as dear to me as the one I have with old what’s her face. Since I’m not home to share it with her I had no other way to make sure I expressed that she is my lobster.

  2. Kristinma said

    I love it! I love it. This is the best birthday gift ever… I think your lobster knows that!

    Beautiful.
    kma

  3. Dee said

    thank you old friend, you actually brought a tear to my eye, and for once it wasn’t from laughter. love u and miss you tons.

  4. anji said

    one of my favs too!

  5. Craig said

    WOW I just read this and I immediately knew who you were talking about…I read it all anyways. Besides being a absolutely amazing post, you reminded me that if one is fortunate enough to have a friend like that, no matter what else is going on in your life, you are the luckiest person in the world.

  6. Timeless friendships, it doesn’t get any better than that. You are blessed.

  7. Bethany said

    Some of my best friends are the ones that I strongly contrast and only have a couple of common interests with – it must just work better that way. Love the blog! Congrats on your SITS day.

  8. Friendships like this are few if you are ever lucky enough to have even one. I love it!

  9. MandiPandi said

    Congrats! Coming to ur site from SITS! Love, love, love this post! It’s really heart warming and lovely. It makes me want to call up my bff and let her know how important she is to me. I think I will….

  10. Fallon said

    An excellent post; I wish I had a friend like that, whom I’ve known forever and was always there. You’re a very lucky woman to have that kind of friendship.

  11. Megan said

    What an awesome friend and awesome post! =)

  12. Marcia said

    That was an amazing blog post, and reading every bit of it, I was thinking of my best friend. So true.

    Just popping in from SITS, glad I stopped by.

    🙂 Marcia

  13. Kristin said

    Yay for besties!! Mine is my blogging partner and my rock!!

  14. BJ_Mama said

    What a Beautiful Post. You gave me chills and reminded me of my own best friend! *sigh*

  15. Excellent post! I really loved this post. I also have a friend that is so very dear to me.

  16. That is so nice to have stayed friends all those years. I’m not close with any of my old friends anymore. Oh, I keep in touch through Facebook with some and still exchange Christmas cards but seldom do anything with them. Wish things were different on this front. I liked the quotes you added throughout your post as well.

    Congrats on your SITS day!

  17. typeamommy said

    That is a wonderful tribute to your best friend. Just lovely. I wish I still had some of my old friends, but I do have some newer friends with longterm potential. I also really loved the quotes you selected, they were great and really added to the post. Happy SITS day again to you!

  18. what a lovely post I still havent found said friend and I hope I will in my lifetimne 🙂

  19. Herself said

    How lovely to blog about your sweet friend!

  20. Brilliant post.

  21. Yaya said

    Yup, me and my bff are total opposites too! But we’ve been besties since we were in 4th grade. Just kinda stuck around!

  22. I love the quotes you put with each reason for friendship.

  23. Christine said

    Such a beautiful testament to your friendship…
    I don’t have a friend in my life that’s been there since kindergarten. Actually, I can’t even remember kindergarten, so maybe I do.

  24. pam said

    lovely! i have a best friend who i feel similarly about, and i wish i could write a post as nice as this about her. 🙂

  25. judy said

    I feel so blessed that I could relate to that and think of someone in my life just like that, too. Thanks for expressing that in words.

  26. Stacie said

    Wow, what a great post. Your friendship is just like mine! I can’t believe the similarities!
    Right now were in our “reconciliation after falling out” stage, so things are a little different.
    Anyway, lovey post. Just loved it!

  27. Pam said

    What an amazing friendship. Great post. You sound like such an intersting person and a great friend.

  28. Elizabeth said

    Wow… I am in the middle of a silent fight (ie, my friend doesn’t know we’re having it) with a girl I once considered my best friend. A former mutual friend of us both said some awful things about me, and my “friend” didn’t stick up for me. But after reading your #3, I kind of understand why maybe she didn’t. Food for thought…

    ~Elizabeth
    Confessions From A Working Mom

  29. I just love this post. You found wonderful quotes and have verbalized, so well, what we all need (have) in good friends.

  30. Shana said

    What a fabulou tribute to your great friend. She’s lucky to have such a wonderful friend like you.

  31. Cassandra said

    You’re a lucky woman. Do you know how hard it is to find good friends these days?!

  32. Jenn said

    What an awesome post! A true friend will let you say horribly offensive things and still love ya for it. This I know for sure.

  33. Wonderful! Of course now I mis my BFF so much. I just had to move 1300 miles from her 3 months ago. I’m so afraid it will never be the same. That was such a nice tribute to her.

  34. Cristina said

    I have a friend just like this. Her name is Elisabeth. Lovingly called Miss. Elisabeth. She just turned 30 and is in – wouldn’t you know – Germany. She’s a professional dancer – no, not the red light district kind, but I am sure after a few drinks it’s entirely possible. This post maked me miss her. Terribly. I am sending her an e-mail right now in honor of this post.

    Following you. Because you had me at bacon bit.

    xx

    Cristina

  35. Jeanette said

    I love it. What a better world we would have if everyone had a friend like that, and was one like that.

    Stopping by from SITS on YOUR DAY!!! congrats!

  36. Michelle said

    What a great post! How lucky you are to have such a great, long term friend. I have a hnadful of close friends that I’ve known for 13 or more years, one for 20. Even though I now live across the country from them, I am still thankful for them everyday!

  37. It is so great having a friend like that! I have no idea what I would do without my best friend. She is my hetero life partner and I am so lucky to have her.

  38. Alison said

    This WAS a great post! You are an awesome friend! I have friends from when I was very young, friends from high school, friends from college, and friends now, but I’ve never had one that was there throughout my entire life. That’s pretty cool! Have a great day!

  39. Mel said

    I have a friend like this too….I can so see us living in a retirement home some day. LOL We live far away from each other too, but we stay in constant contact with each other, and I’m so thankful for her….wouldn’t want to live life without her.:)

  40. Kimberli said

    You’ve just inspired me to write about a post about my best friend…so true they are GOLD and we ought to tell them more often!

  41. Lovely! Makes me miss my friend. 🙂

  42. I think I will send this to my BFF, my Sister In Law! We are so lucky to have each other!

  43. Kearsie said

    What an awesome post. The whole time I was reminded over and over of my Bestie, who has been my Bestie for 19 years. I feel blessed.

  44. What a terrific post! and how lucky you are to have such a friend!

    Stopped by from SITS to say hi and congrats on your day in the spotlight!

  45. joy said

    Such a beautiful tribute!

  46. A2Z said

    I have one friendship that has been lasting 30 something years. Thats longer than I have been married. Had a few of those. But friendships like this one is unique. Its like a mirror: it reflects the good, the bad and the ugly. May your friendship bloom for ever after. : )

    http://Anne-Mariewithadash.blogspot.com

  47. joy said

    Such a beautiful tribute! Congrats on your SITS day!

  48. Apryl said

    Wonderful to have such a long-lasting, true friendship! Both of you are blessed to know each other and I bet she’s thrilled ot read how much she’s enriched your life 🙂

  49. That is the sweetest post about your best friend! Happy SITS day!

  50. myredapron said

    This is a great post! Nice to meet you through SITS

  51. That’s awesome. Life long friends.

  52. Andrea said

    That is just a lovely post. Your friend is lucky to have you as well!

  53. Date Girl said

    How great that must be, to have a friend you’ve had basically your entire life. I’ve had friends I’ve known, but no one that close consistently. I hope you let your friend read that post, it was beautiful!

  54. Michelle said

    What a sweet way to commemorate your friends birthday! I was in the middle of a post about my friend for her birthday, but never finished it. Now I’m inspired to!

  55. zeemaid said

    what a wonderful post. Sounds like a great friend.

    Happy SITS day!

  56. wow, that’s a long time to be friends! Happy SITS day!

  57. She sounds like a wonderful friend. In friendship I sometimes believe in the the ying and the yang…I too am loud mouthed and say too much. My best friend is more quiet, but she takes what I say with a grain of salt. It’s nice to have “easy” friends in our lives..one who is there for you and who don’t cause unnecessary drama. I’m happy to hear you have that.

  58. gina said

    Congrats on your SITS day- this post was a great choice for a picture of you. You had me smiling because it sounds alot like my BFF of 21 years. 🙂

  59. Sevi said

    I have quite a few friends that I’m still close to from kindergarten and our kindergarten teacher still is in contact with us. She calls us her golden trio!

  60. Young Wife said

    Aww…it’s so wonderful that you’ve remained friends for so long! Happy SITS Day!

  61. CCW said

    Fab post — everything a good friendship has: love, laughter, sentiment and snark.

  62. Aw, what a great post (darn her for having horrific taste in music!)

    You are so blessed to have a friend like that and I’m so fortunate I have a few like that too (though none that I’ve had since Kindergarten!)

  63. I loved this! May you always have eachother.

  64. Simply beautiful post! I love it and can so relate…I should come with a disclaimer: Those easily offended, need not apply…. ;P

  65. Great post!!!

  66. Ah, man! What a tribute! I’m feeling a little inadequate ’cause I’ve never written about my BFF. Mind if I borrow yours? Sure, it wouldn’t be very sincere but she’d be hell’a impressed with all my insight into our relationship.
    Seriously though, lovely, lovely post! I’m VERY glad I’ve discovered your blog…you’re hilarious. And slightly indecent. But I like that about you. =)
    Mindy
    http://www.thesuburbanlife.com

  67. OH I love it – visiting from SITS by the way. I have a best friend too and we have now been friends for 23 years. She knows me better than almost anyone. So much of what you wrote rings true – we always say that we will be in home together, too. If she is with me, even if I am not all mentally there, I know it will be fun.
    Great post!

  68. mrsbear said

    That was a great tribute to your friend. I love the accompanying quotes. Everyone should have at least one great friend like that.

  69. wendiwinn said

    that was awesome. and it makes me want to go out and find a friend. and by find, i mean make. make a friend. ’tis a lonely life i lead.

  70. MARIE COLE said

    That was sooo beautifully said. I have one of those friends too, I think I am going to forward this to her, I already know what she’ll say about it, ha!

  71. Danielle said

    Beautiful post. I kinda want to be both of you friends right now!
    I love the fact that she doesnt get offended easily too. I , like you, have a bad habit of speaking before thinking fully sometimes and its a strength and weakness..

    I call it being direct..you always know what your going to get.:)
    Happy Sits day!
    Danielle

  72. Tanya said

    Old friends are the ones that are most cherished, and can stand the test of time. I love recalling with my old old friends all the seasons of closeness and far-apart-ness we’ve survived through.

    Thanks for sharing!

  73. Sandy said

    Wonderful, funny and touching post! You and your friend are lucky to have each other. Long live your friend(ship)!

  74. My friends and (mainly) my mom warn people before they meet me. I don’t think I’m that bad, but my mom is always like, “I don’t even know what you are going to do or say, it makes me nervous.” Whatevs, mom. At least I don’t swear around you! Happy SITS day. I just joined and am enjoying your blog!

  75. Annie said

    I love this post!! Best friends are the greatest 🙂

    Happy SITS day!

  76. Barbie said

    I really really really enjoyed this post. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved your quote usage as well.

    Happy SITS day, sitster.

  77. wcurley said

    You have a gift. This was lovely to read. It’s an honour to meet you.

  78. To be ‘known’- isn’t that our heart’s desire?

  79. What a lovely post! I really should think about showing friends what they mean to me more often. This seems like a pretty amazing friendship.

    I love your quotes too! (Especially the Shakespeare). The Bard says it all.

  80. Lynn said

    That is so cool that you have a friend like that. Very lucky you two are. Stay gold to you both! Happy SITS Day!

  81. Leah Rubin said

    Sounds great! She’s lucky to have you, and vice versa– it’s what friendship SHOULD be!

    Found you via SITS! Great blog!

  82. Julie said

    Happy SITS Day! This is an amazing post! Your friend has an amazing friend in you. Bless you both!

  83. mom2kmjx2 said

    That was Awesome. I have a very similar friend, but she’s 12 years older. Started out as my babysitter now I consider her a sister.

  84. April said

    So sweet! Loved It! Stopping by from SITS!

  85. What a beautiful post!! I may have to borrow this idea at some point. 🙂 I think I will follow you now, and see what else you have to say. Here’s to being published someday!!!

  86. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this tribute to your friend. I just did one myself today to an old friend. As I get older, I realize that one of the best ways to show your friends that you care for them is to be able to tell them they are being a dumbass when this is the case. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can’t. My better friends – I can. And I will get it from them too. (I may not jump up and down – but I respect them so, ok).

    Found you through SITS but will try to come by more often.

    love your blog babe.
    Kiran

  87. Sabreena said

    I am stopping by from SITS and I really enjoyed this post, I see why you chose it. I have a friend like that. We don’t see each other and at one point we hadn’t talked in 3 years (not out of anger we’re just lazy) but when I call her it’s like we’ve been together the whole time. Everyone needs someone like this and you are blessed to have had her for so long.

  88. michelle said

    I love this post. It sounds like my friend. (Yeah, I’m with you on the spanx).
    congratulations on being the featured blogger today.

  89. I love this. What a great tribute to your friend. So sweet.

    I just bought my first pair of Spanx to wear to my best friend’s wedding. She’s going to make so much fun of me. I can already hear it.

    Happy SITS day girl!

  90. The Mom said

    Oh, that is so sweet. What a fabulous tribute to your friend. I have a BFF and she fits every one of your categories! I think everyone has to have at least 1 person like you’ve talked about to make their life complete. Hope you’ve enjoyed your day in the SITS spotlight. I’m so jealous that you’re in Europe enjoying life over there!

  91. Missy said

    What a wonderful tribute to your friend. I am sadly missing that in my own life.

    Stopping in from SITS.

  92. fabulousterrah said

    Beautifully written. LOVE how you had quotations to back each one up too. 🙂

  93. Terrah said

    New blog ~ http://themomwhotravels.blogspot.com/ 😉

  94. Amber said

    I have a best friend like this. She’s my only best friend… she lives in Colorado and I live in NC. It sucks, but we Skype (w/ the webcam) and I get to see her son grow up and we workout together so we don’t gain too much weight.
    Friends are WONDERFUL.
    This post was wonderful too 🙂

  95. Jessica said

    Such a pretty tribute to an old friend. I think it’s good to take time to do that once in a while.

  96. This is beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope every is blessed to have this kind of friendship in their lifetime. I am thankful that I finally found mine in my late 30’s and I look forward to being old and annoying with her in a nursing home one day lol.

  97. What a lovely, sweet tribute to a friend. We should all take the time to reflect on, and voice!, the qualities we love in our friends.

  98. miss lady said

    This is a beautiful post – and THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE IRISH ROVERS! 😉

  99. What a beautiful post about your friend! Thank you for sharing her with us!

  100. Love this! What a thoughtful tribute to your friendship! Stopping by from CurvyBlogLove

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