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Email that made me belly laugh.

Posted by Allison on December 21, 2009

I’m busy with our guest but I received this today and love it. I get these all the time, so do you, usually they aren’t very funny….this one is. Folks I’m from Saskatchewan if you aren’t from Saskatchewan these will be mildly amusing if you are, you will nod your head and quite a few of them…especially number 3.

THE RULES OF RURAL SASKATCHEWAN ARE AS FOLLOWS

Listen up City Slickers!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap straight, your head isn’t crooked.
3. Let’s get this straight; it’s called a ‘dirt road.’ I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. They’re live steaks. That’s why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? Hwy 16 goes east and west, Hwy 11 goes north and south. Pick one and leave.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $365,000 combines and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in rural Saskatchewan waves. It’s called ‘being friendly , Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat meat and potatoes. You really want sushi & caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop.
9. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer hunting season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. There’s little for ‘vegetarians’ on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
12. Our meals have three main dishes: meat, vegetables and potatoes . We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
13. You bring ‘coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.
14. You bring ‘Mary Jane’ into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15. Saskatchewan Hockey League and Minor Hockey is as important here as the Calgary Flames and the Edmonton Oilers and more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards — it spooks the fish.
17. 3 inches of snow & ice isn’t a blizzard – it’s a vacation. The pickups with snow blades and tractors with snow blowers will have you out the next day.

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