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Expat life…

Posted by Allison on July 13, 2009

So I’m reading a lot about living the expat life.  One of the things that is talked about over and over is the high rate of marriages that split up while living the expat life.   Now I’m married for the second time.  From the beginning of my relationship it has been polar opposite to my first marriage.  I have what I consider a wonderful relationship with a man who is truly one of my best friends.  There is no drama, no stress just a nice relaxed life that we seem to enjoy very much.  But I can see how the stresses of such a big move can eat away at a relationship.  I’m not one to call the girlfriends when arguing with my spouse.  Mostly because it happens so infrequently but also because it never gets to a level that I feel a need to vent.  But this move is stressful and I realize that we are going to have to work very hard at keeping the lines of communication open because we are all we have.  There is no running to the nearest friend and unloading.  In fact there is a small number of people who truly understand the pressures of being an expat spouse.  Especially a trailing spouse.   I wonder how we are going to do this and how it will change and effect our relationship.  I do know that one comment from one person has change the dynamic of the move for me in a way I never thought possible.  I’m less joyful and nervous excited and now I’m more just going through the motions and hoping it all works out for the best.  What was originally a family adventure that we are were very excited about has become something we’re doing but the fear has crept into it.  I hope before we leave I can get that nervous excitement back.   Maybe it wasn’t suppose to go all smoothly but I hope that once over there and away from all the stress of getting over there is done, things go back to normal.

6 Responses to “Expat life…”

  1. Shelly said

    Bring you mind back around to the Family Adventure. It is what YOU make it, and though there is obviously a lot involved in moving overseas, you don’t have to let any negativity from outside determine how you are going to feel about this. This post is so different from the ones when you just got the news! It’s OK to be happy or excited about it, even though you’re probably dog tired from wll the preparations. I hope that you and your family truly enjoy yourselves once you are there, and all of this relocation detail is behind you.

  2. Viajera said

    Not meaning to sound cheesy, but you’ve made the first important step which is coming to the realization that it IS a challenging position to be in, and that this kind of change CAN ruin the relationship if everyone doesn’t tend the garden.
    The “trailing spouse” nightmare is something that I fear also, but I think that there are things that can be done so that one doesn’t feel like a fifth wheel on someone else’s grand adventure. Oprah MUST have had a show about that! 😉
    I’m seeing glass full here, so I look forward to reading about how much you guys are enjoying the expat life.

  3. erin said

    bitch

  4. Allison Sim said

    Oh Erin! Thanks…I needed that! I have to get out of this FUNK!

  5. Becca said

    Rubbish. People that split up weren’t meant to be. Options are given and choices are made in life that lead you to where you are. If anything it will strengthen your relationship. Did you work in Canada?I worked in the US, but will be a stay at home mama here. Now that I do all the cooking, cleaning etc we have much less stress. We are much happier as a couple actually. Europe is so cool and you’re a lively and strong person. It might be hard at times, but life is always hard sometimes no matter where u are . I actually think Germany compliments everything I have ever wanted from life. I think it will do the same for you and ur hubby. I’m typing on my iphone so I apologize for any typos

  6. Allison Sim said

    true dat, my german expat friend…true dat.

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