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My Quest. Jen Lancaster or bust.

Posted by Allison on January 10, 2009

Okay I don’t need to actually meet Jen Lancaster.  I don’t even need her to know I exist.  *Big fat lie*  What I need is to find the dress that she wore to a book signing in San Fransisco in May of 2008.  She also wore it in Boston at a book signing so there’s that, if that helps….That totally doesn’t sound unreasonable does it?

I should start at the beginning.  I discovered (a la Brian Epstein style in MY mind) Jen Lancaster and she became one of my famous fake friends…you know like Julia Roberts.  These are famous people who I believe would be my best friends if only they had the opportunity to meet me.  With Julia it would be because we were at the park with our kids and I would whip out some knitting, she would squeal and say, I love knitting but I’m scared of socks, I would then take her under my wing….but I digress. I recognise that like my reverse anorexia this is probably a little more real in my head.

Anywhooodooles,  a few years ago I stumbled across a book called Bitter is the New Black.  Read it in one day  Funniest book I have read in a million years.  I then veraciously read her other book called Bright Lights Big Ass. Well after MONTHS of waiting in the library queue the last book called Such a Pretty Fat I finally got an email from the library and went to pick it up.  Done and done.  Read that sucker as fast as my little eyes would move across that page.  Once again fantastic, witty, sincere…everything I imagine a best friend of mine would be…(not like certain people who currently hold that title and laughed at me during my dental emergency last week *more later).  So after reading I still didn’t have enough of my Jen fix.  What to do…what to do…online stalking!  Perfect!  First I looked her up on facebook and of course there’s a fan club.  Filled of course of women who think that if they just met Jen she would be their best friend.  Delusional.  Then I read a bit of her blog. (see right side bar and click away)  I tried to leave a comment because 1. I assume she hasn’t heard some of the wittiest repartee this side of the North Saskatchewan and 2. I know I’m just one online blog comment away from replacing Whatsherpickle as my BFF.  Problem you can’t leave a comment on her blog.  You have to leave the comment on Myspace and then it shows up on her blog.  Fine.  This is where most normally people would go make dinner or talk to their kids.  I on the other hand, joined myspace, made a page, requested Jen as a friend and now sit here waiting for her to accept me as her friend so I can make my comment.  The comment which I thought was going to be so funny she would DIE and immediately ask for my number so we could be friends. The comment that was about my mother and Morgan Freeman.  The comment that now 8 hours later I’ve technically forgotten.

Anddickadoodle, I figure I can jog my memory if I retrace my steps and as I’m going through the “fan” page (I’m not a fan, I’m a pre-friend) I notice there are pictures.  I click on one and immediately see the dress that is standing between me and complete happiness.

I want you to imagine that amount of time I’m going to dedicate to finding this dress.


And notice how grown up I am not to just follow her Grateful Dead style all over the US until she wears it again and then accost her in a book store.  Cause technically she’s not touring until May.

****UPDATE  NOTE COMMENT FOUR!!! Yep from the author herself!  JEN!

4 Responses to “My Quest. Jen Lancaster or bust.”

  1. Shelly said

    You NEED that dress….I’m picturing you in it! Yes, ma’am…

  2. Allison Sim said

    Shelly this is why you are one of “my people”. You see the sense in this post!

  3. Kristi said

    So these are good books? I should add them to my “to read” list? and I assume when you aren’t at school for a few days its cause your somewhere in the world stalking someone? oookkkaaayyyy crazy lady. All I can say is that I’m glad you give me funny blogs to read on my dark lonely nights!

  4. jen said

    I don’t usually leave comments open more than a few days because people start to pick fights and I do not have time to turn this car around, you know. But you don’t have to join MySpace. I actually keep forgetting to check MySpace for weeks at a time now that I have shiny, new Twitter.

    I’ve got comments open on two posts right now onmy regular site – try and see if they post. If not, you should end up in my spam file. (Sometimes my filters don’t like certain IP addresses.) If you’re there, I can make sure there’s nothing blocking you.

    The dress came from Macy’s in Atlanta (the Buckhead store) last year. It’s Jessica Howard Woman and it runs a bit big. Also, how cute are you??

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