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The Original Bruce/Demi/Ashton….

Posted by Allison on May 29, 2007

So today I spent a few hours at the hospital. I was visiting a sick friend.  Unfortunately she spends a lot of time in the hospital so when she told me she was going in again I thought I’d go visit her and take her some trashy mags.  I’m pretty sure all she’d be getting from her other friends and family would be bible books and scripture.  So today I stopped by the Safeway for a potted plant and a couple of ‘satisfy your man in bed’ and ‘how to have an earth shattering orgasm’ magazines (you’ll see the humor of this choice in a minute) grabbed my current sock and headed off.  I don’t particularily like going to this hospital it’s the one where my dad spent a lot of time when he was sick and also where he passed away.  But I soldiered on….or limped in like a loser taking great pains not to park in the area I used to always park when I went to see him…took an alternate door to the one I took the night he died…and completely avoided looking around the area I used to frequent….see I soldiered on.

She’s on a fairly high morphine drip so I was hoping she would remember me being there, turns out they had removed the drip just today so she was fine and very happy for the company!  We chatted about the kids (she has 5!) and the husbands, we talked about our respective houses and what was new.  I asked about her recent surgery and the pain in the ass that NPO (nothing by mouth) sign was causing her and we were generally having a nice visit.  The nurse came in to give her some pain meds and at some point said ‘do you go to the same church?’ (at this point I did NOT spew out my gum and laugh uproarishly for 10 minutes…well not out loud) I said no, She is my son’s stepmother.  The nurse looked confused but said Oh! and walked behind the curtain.  (By the way, why does everyone that works in a hospital think that those curtains are made of sound proof steel and no one can hear them once they close them, including me apparently) I turned to my friend and said “well i think that sounds better than it’s my ex-husband wife”  The nurse came back looking very shocked “and said to us “wow you guys are really good friend eh?” (clearly a canadian girl) and we said yes we are….and then she said, ‘you guys are like the original bruce, demi and ashton’ Which is REALLY hilarious except of course in this scenerio I would be BRUCE! 

Get well Shannon….

3 Responses to “The Original Bruce/Demi/Ashton….”

  1. erin said

    So were you going to tell us about the earth shattering orgasm directions or not?

  2. Marin said

    Awwww… sweet and funny. I love sweet and funny!

  3. Allison Sim said

    do you mean me, or the story?

    and erin…I wouldn’t know an earth shattering orgasm if it bit me in the ass…oh wait, now there’s an idea….

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