Sorbet anyone?

I might possible go to jail.
I am willing to maim my own children for another tub of Pinocchio sorbet in Mango. This amazing Italian sorbet is the best damn stuff I’ve had in a long long time. I just cannot believe that anything this good is not so fattening that I’ll grow a third stomach roll by tomorrow! In fact this stuff is so damn NOT fattening that it’s a sin NOT to eat it. The fact that I’m lactose intolerant (and have been since the birth of that large headed child 15 years ago) has lead me to stop eating a lot of diary product in fear of the lava ass that insues. But tonight, in front of my computer screen, while playing a game of canasta, I had a sorbet induced orgasm that rivals CHOCOLATE!!!!
I suppose divorcing my husband and stealing my best friends man (who happens to be the cute Italian who makes this stuff) is slightly improper. But if over the course of the next 20 years he “happens” to fall madly in love with me and the only way he can express it is to send me VATS of Mango sorbet, so be it.