Yeah so upon further research I’ve found out that only the kindle is available internationally. So I guess I’ll have to shelf the idea of an e-reader until the others catch up. I also found out that Pfaff sewing machines are from Mannheim, in fact the factory, which has since been closed was very close to my house. I think this is karma, or kismit or whatever. I think it means I should have a Pfaff sewing machine.

Oh god. I’ve got a bee in my bonnet. I want an e-reader. Well, if you’re going to be a world traveller AND you love books it’s probably important that you at least look at what the newest high tech thingy that is out there, right? Right? Can I get a whooop whooop? So here’s the deal. I’m an avid reader. I’m a slightly neurotic reader who reads everything from historical fiction to true crime to anything with two covers and pages in between. I’ll even read German magazines if I’ve forgotten my book and see how many words I can understand (um, none). The one thing we learned when we moved overseas is that books are heavy. Really, really heavy. And they are a pain in the ass if your keeping them for purely sentimental reason (oldest child of mine is a bit of a girl if you accidentally give away a few of them and then distract him by pretending he did it). So what have the geniuses of the world come up with???? E-readers. E-readers that hold thousands of books and fit in your purse! And the print isn’t tiny if, for example, you’re 40 and trying to delude yourself into believing you don’t need bifocals. You can make the print larger! You can download onto your computer and then transfer onto your e-book or you can wifi the books right to the reader (but i hear that you then pay duty if you’re out of the country booo hisss). So now i’m starting to look at which one of these bad boys I have to have. I know that with the new Barnes and Noble e-reader called the Nook you can trade with friends and i know that the Kindle has had all types of press, even Oprah talked about her love of the Kindle one day. There is the The Cybook Opus and the BeBook. These 4 are all I know. If you have an opinion, PLEASE post it. I will take them all under advisement, well, not the negative ones, I’ll just pretend they don’t exist.

And a big shout out THANKS to my friend Anji for the information on the privacy posts. They say people are around you for a reason. I’m going thru some stuff and you answered a need I didn’t even know I had. Thanks friend.

What did your wedding vows say. I remember when I was MUCH younger and getting married I was a traditionalist. I really wanted to say the vows that millions had said before me. I wanted to say love, honour and obey because I was marrying the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with….we all know how that train wreck turned out. I never did say the word obey because even at 21 with wedding stardust in my eyes I knew that I wasn’t going to say ‘obey’ to that person. I didn’t even really know what it meant within the context of a marriage. In which case I probably had no right standing up there in the first place but that’s another story. I’m not even sure I was really good at the honour part that first time around. We both said “until death us do part” (choke gasp choke) but unfortunately I forgot to put in the vows that in order to marry me we both had to quit dating. Silly me. I do know that the day I took those vows I was pretty sure (yeah yeah) that I meant them. I knew that as much as I could at 21 I meant what i said in front of god and those witnesses. Marriage is a tricky thing. I’m not sure why everyone focuses so much on the flowers and the dress when really the part they should be focusing on is whether the person across from them means what they are saying.

I thought long and hard (that’s what she said) before I got married again. I really didn’t care about having a wedding and I didn’t. We got married in our living room with just our parents and Emmett there. I remember the justice of the peace gave us a little book that had different vows in it. Once again that ‘obey’ reared its nasty head and once again I made another choice. Funny sitting here on a Sunday morning I can’t remember everything about that day but I do remember that we both said love, honour and cherish. I guess you can’t cover every contingency in the vows you say on the day you marry someone. You just have to hope that they mean what they say and are in a position to follow through on what they say that day.

I need coffee. Oh and I’m knitting. I love More Sensational Socks. I still have so many variations of socks to do that I never even look for other patterns anymore. This is a new set for Eli. He wants me to make them into knee highs but I’ve convinced him that these will be plenty long.

There have been many times in my life where I have dreamt of becoming a writer. Usually it’s while I”m driving in my car. I no longer have a car so now it happens when I’m on the train. Some days I don’t want update the blog, some WEEKS I don’t ‘feel’ like writing. Usually someone prods me (erin) and I sit down and write something. Today I was chastising a fellow blogger for their lack of update and she responded with “I feel so uninspired lately”. Now this poor kid is in bed with a nasty case of morning sickness so I totally understand that feeling, but what she said stuck with me. That’s exactly how I feel some days. So I”m walking to the train and I thought….that’s the difference between writing and BEING a writer. Writing when your feeling uninspired MAKES you a writer. Writing when you’re inspired is easy. When I’m in the middle of Heidelberg and a guy is singing “let the sunshine in” on an accordion with a German accent THAT blog post practically writes itself. When I walk by the computer 10 times and think ‘meh i should blog’ those are the days I need to sit down and write. If I string enough of those days together then one day, I’ll be a writer.

diary |ˈdīərē|
noun ( pl. -ries)
a book in which one keeps a daily record of events and experiences

journal |ˈjərnl|
noun
a daily record of news and events of a personal nature; a diary.

blog |bläg|
noun
a Web site on which an individual or group of users produces an ongoing narrative

When I was younger I kept a diary. Well not really I TRIED to keep a diary. I very much wanted to keep a diary and would start a new one ever so often. I would write in it religiously for days or even weeks then I would stop. Months later I would pick it up again and start the process over again. I wasn’t a committed diarist but I enjoyed the outlet. Then when I was a teenager, my mother read my diary. Now before you go all ‘get over it, loser’ on me. I completely understand where she was coming from, really I do. My mom is 41 years older than me and from a completely different time. She grew up and there were no fridges, I grew up smokin’ dope in the eastview bushes. I get that she was behind the eight-ball with me. I would have done the same thing in her situation. I mean I basically do the same thing everytime I check the kids computer history, right? It’s an invasion of perceived privacy which a child, preteen or teenager just doesn’t understand. What I will never understand is that she then used the information that she read about against me. I’m still pissed to this day about that. I’ll never understand that part of it. So you go into my private stuff (or what my little 14 year head thought was private) read it and then use that information against me. By the way, do not ever bring up this incident with my mother. She gets super pissed if you talk about it at all. To her she can’t understand what she did wrong in the least because in her mind, children do not have the right to privacy. I lived in her house and therefore she had every right to do whatever she wanted. So 26 years later she still thinks that fact that she ‘found something’ in the diary is justification that she read it. And I still think that if she would have shut her damn mouth she would have found out some WAY juicier stuff just a short year later. See what she failed to realize is that she had a direct line into what I was thinking and what I was doing. She should have read the diary, put it back and then found another way to find out the same information. Hence keeping her ’source’ open for more info later. After she read the diary I never wrote in it again.

As an adult I had a journal. I was no longer some ‘child’ who wrote in a diary with a flimsy metal key hanging from it. I had a beautifully bound book from Chapters to drop my pearls of wisdom into. No longer would there be rating systems on which boy I was madly in love with for the week. Now there would be thought provoking prose on the ability of some twat to phone me back after a night at Goose Loonies dance club. I started many journals but never got back to the free style writing of my youth. I lived in my own home but never was I able to let go and just vent as I had when I was younger. It no longer felt like a ’safe’ medium but I still journalled. I tried very hard to pick it back up. Oprah said journalling was important then dammit I was going to journal. Really it was just another way for me to beat myself up about not being good at something. That was a pretty prevalent thought process during my teens and twenties, so the lack of journal writing wasn’t anomalous it just reaffirmed it on a more daily basis. Kind of like a nice little piece of judgment all leather bond and floral covered sitting on my nightstand. Then it happened again. My privacy was blown out of the water and I lost my ability journal for years.

Then I started this blog. There is no perceived privacy when you write your thoughts down for the world (or 75-ish people day depending on traffic and if I’ve used any buzz words that bring in the searches). In the beginning I never really thought about it, I just wrote what was on my mind, but almost mindlessly. There was a lot of knitting talk and stuff about the kids. Then I found Bikram and the talk moved to yoga and moving overseas. But every so often something would be gnawing at me and I’d want to post it and I would. It never dawned on me to be worried about who was reading it or what they might think of me. I really do write this blog for me and the reality is that the longer I write it the more of ‘me’ that I put in it. It’s almost as if the writing of the blog in a public forum let me get back to how I used to write in my diary when I was fourteen. And now I NEED that diary back. I really need that place where I put down all my thoughts and feelings because I am so far away from everything and everyone I know. There is no safety net here. When you fight with your spouse there is no Bikram to go to so you can “leave it on the mat”. My stress coping skills are pretty simple. Bikram (none here), smoking (shut up), whining (8 hour time difference) knitting (thank god) and this blog. I had no idea how much I had come to rely on those other coping skills until they were all gone except the knitting and this blog. My spouse is NOT a talker. I am a talker. He has little or no interest in the things I want to talk about. He is not good at hiding that fact. If I start talking about subjects he has no interest in he will just interrupt and talk about something else. Really. I wish I was joking. And I’m not saying I’m talking about how to knit the perfect gusset, I could be talking about the train schedule. If he isn’t interested he doesn’t hear me. Period. He has many good qualities listening isn’t one of them. Either is talking. This blog is where I get to talk, I can talk about what I want to talk about and whether it is perception or reality I think that because it’s in a public way I feel heard at the same time. Wow. Big thoughts for someone who just wanted to write a post and work out some stuff in her head….better go fill up the coffee…

What a great day!  We decided to go up to Frankfurt for the day and take a look around.  It was GREAT.  We took the ICE train up there and it makes the hour trip only 35 minutes.  Nice.  Elijah has been DESPERATE to go on the ICE train.  They go 300 kilometers per hour and he loves when they whiz by.  So we paid the extra to get to Frankfurt in 35 minutes and ride the ICE on the way there.  He was happy as a clam.  He REALLY thinks this is the coolest smile in the world.  He does it everytime there is a camera pointed at him.   I think he looks ridiculous.  This of course makes ME uncool and him very cool.  Aw….kids.

Even when I try to snap one quickly so I don’t get ‘the smile’ no go.

There was a much better picture of Nadia and I but this one made me look skinnier…so I’m posting this one.

The infamous ICE train.  I’ll probably take the ICE to Paris in January, it’s fast as hell and super comfortable…..love it.

Totally should have got a picture of this guy from the front, he’s a portable vendor selling bratwurst.  Seriously.

So last night during research for our trip Scott found an 8 story mall.  We found it pretty quick and thought ‘wow that’s really cool’.  The store were underwhelming but we found Nadia a pair of shoes so whatever.  We really couldn’t figure out what all the hype was about.  Then we left that mall and walked like 100 meters and found the MyZeil…we had been in the wrong place.  THIS mall is amazing! The building is supberb and the stores are beyond fantastic.  There was even a Pandora store where I finally got the zodiac symbol for my bracelet that matches to represent Nadia!  They don’t sell that one in Canada anymore so I was thrilled.  So this next pic is the MyZeil….I.LOVE.IT!

So happy to finally have some sushi.  We found an amazing Japanese restaurant in the mall and had sushi lunch in which Elijah wolfed down over a dozen pieces of various sushi and Nadia practically had to beg for some (what 6 year old jumps up and down with GLEE when told ‘we’re having sushi for lunch’..oh yeah, mine).  We then walked up and down the Zeil and even stopped at the weekly farmers market.  When we made our way back to the Hauptbahnof we were excited to find out that we could take the RB (it was even elijah’s favorite bunk train) back to Friedrichsfeld but before we had to board we came across a group of musicians and dancers.  We don’t know what country they are from but they were in traditional clothing and having a blast. In the end we figured out that they are promoting a new coffee. Which made us giggle for the next little bit.

Fantastic day.  I think we’re going to hit Munich next…but that’ll be an overnighter.  Emmett said he didn’t miss us even remotely so we’re going to have to go away for longer.

It’s an expat blog…..

Yeah whatever….it’s MY blog and I’ll write what I want.  Today that’s knitting.  I’m currently finishing up a bunch of UFO’s that I shipped over in hopes that inspiration would propel me to end my SSS (second sock syndrome) and get back on the knitting band wagon.  It took 2 months but dammit I’m knitting again!

Proof you say…in the last week I finished a pair of slippers for Elijah

He LOVES them.  They are made from the olden days weird polyester yarn that makes my fingers itch but he needed slippers and I’m a sucker.

I finished off a pair of socks that I had started ages ago….They are in Oilers colours for Elijah.  He is wearing two pair that have serious holes but he won’t let us throw them out until he has new Mommy socks…so here they are….I’ve got one more pair to finish off then I can start on a new project or two…

I’m going to try to start a few projects but some I can’t post cause they are gifts, I’ll try to start one for me so I can at least talk about something knitting related.  Two babies coming next year so I can make some baby stuff which is awesome cause it’s been a LONG time since I got to make baby things….I love fall, it makes me excited to knit.

The funny thing about moving to a new country is that no longer do you need big, huge accomplishments to feel like you’ve done something with your day.  This week is Eli’s Halloween party at school and he decided he wanted to be a PARROT for Halloween.  I personally think that is a weird costume choice but I wasn’t asked, I was told.  This is E “helping” me make his costume, every so often he would glance up from the computer and say, “YEP”!

The kids were to find a character in a book and then dress up like them.  Some how Mr Magoo got it stuck in his head that he wanted to be a parrot.  Fine, I’m easy (well i was in 1989) so I can adapt. The problem is I’m in Germany.  I can’t just run down to fabricland, pick up some supplies and sew a costume lickity split.   There is NO fabricland. And I have NO sewing machine!

So this is how the whole thing went…..

DAY ONE

1. Look up Fabric stores in Mannheim and Heidelberg to determine how to get to one on the public transport system.

2. Narrow it down to two possibilities within walking distance of each other and google map it.  (send google map to itouch so I can look up route while walking)

3. Look up the word for “felt” in German in case no one speaks English at the store.

4. Draw basic sketch of costume so I have a little bit of an idea of how much fabric to get.

5. One the way to the first location, stumble upon a sewing machine/fabric store with English speaking clerk and buy felt.

I still went to the other two stores because I had a lot of time to kill before I had to pick up Eli at school.  The one store was a craft store, had no felt and so I left fairly quickly.  The other was a fabric store where I picked up a sliver of yellow felt and some fabric glue.  That night I assembled the wings to test out my theory and hoped like hell it would all make sense.  Then came the realization that in order to attach the wings to a shirt I would need to hand sew them onto E’s clothing.

So at the end of day one I had a couple of wings ready to go…and not much else.  Oh, I had pinned the eyes on to a toque but I was stuck on the “bill”.

DAY TWO (day before the party)

1.  Pick up E and go to speech therapy, come home whistling all the way.  Step in the house and see Parrot costume and realise that I didn’t pick up a sewing needle and now I’m in my tiny town where everything closes at random times for random reasons and I’m screwed.

2. Although past experience has taught me to write down in German what I’m looking for (see yesterday’s happy easy pleasant experience)  I just decide to walk out the door and go to Vogenstrasse (the main drag) and see what I stumble upon.

*A little side note on the writing stuff down,  I’ve been trying to by baking soda for 3 weeks.  I keep looking in the baking section.  I haven’t written it down and so far I have come home with baking powder and yeast.  Yesterday while hanging out I found arm & hammer baking soda at the chinese grocery and did what can only be called an embarrassing dance of glee in the middle of the aisle.  Feel free to laugh at me from afar..

3.  Three stores later I find sewing needles at NOT the craft store, NOT the drug store but the POST OFFICE!

4. Sew sleeves and tail onto shirt with long basting stitches in hopes to a) keep the shirt from getting wrecked and b) getting the costume done for the party that is now THE NEXT DAY!

Let me telling you, getting those sewing needles made me feel like I’d won a prize.  There is such a sense of accomplishment when completing what is essential a fairly basis task.

And now we have one VERY happy Parrot.  I cannot believe how absolutely thrilled this kids is with his costume.

I have to remember to cut down the bill before I leave for the party at lunch time!  But other than that…success!

Remember when this was primarily a knitting blog. No?  Me either.  I’m in the mood to knit something new.  This always happens when the weather turns to that grey fall cooler stuff.  I have things to finish off first though cause I’m not starting anything new until I can start with a clean slate.  I’ve figured out that the reason I’m not picking up the sticks in the evening is because we have no TV so I’m not sitting in front of it every night. So….I’m going to dig out my unfinished projects and get them done.  I have two socks that literally have toes to finish and one slipper that just have a toe to finish.  I also have a cardigan I made for Nadia which was totally off gauge wise that will fit her now if I finish it off.  And then I’m going to knit something new.  I can’t wait!  These “almost dones” will only take about a week or so if I’m working on them every day and the motivation of starting something fresh will keep me going for a bit.

We watch our north american programs on the computer in the evening when the kids go to bed so I think that will be a good time to get moving.  I’m totally in the mood.  Even went on Ravelry this morning for the first time in a long time.  I think I might even knit myself a nightie as I’ve found some ADORABLE patterns lately.  And I really want to knit Nadia a skirt.  Have you SEEN this skirt?  How adorable would that be with some boots on her????

Updated my profile with my change of location and joined some groups.  I have some patterns itchin’ to be knit and some special projects I really want to get ahead of…ah…knitting in the fall.   I love it!